Sunday, July 1, 2012

Heather's Journal Entry #4 - "Ah F**K It!" October 5, 2007

4

 “Ah F**K It!”
October 5, 2007

F**K.  I just cut real bad & now I remembered I have a soccer game 2morrow.  Gah.  This jus means a butt-load of make-up & some lamo xcuse, that is if sum1 sees it.  So I’m good. 

Can I ask something?  I’m getting worse & knew it was coming.  Which is my xact reason 4 going 2 mom.  Me, thinking she would help me … (stupid me) all I get is what I should have expected in the 1st place.  Me coming across 2 mom as a – waist of time, a screw up, f**ker, fake, & not worth it.  (Which by the way she’s looked directly at me & said.)  So I know I’m pretty desperate when I go 2 her 4 help.  But when I do, I look @ her & I can hear all those things she’s called me tormenting me all @ 1nce like some kind of nightmare. 

Ah! All I want is 4 someone 2 listen 2 me! No. Not just some one, I want mom 2 listen! But I’ve lost her attention b/c I screw up everything.  Damnit! I’m getting worse & I don’t know what 2 do. 

Ya know it may seem like I’m blaming mom but I don’t mean 2.  It’s just – she’s so amazing, it’s hard to believe she’d love some1 like me.  That prolly sounds stupid beyond belief but idc.  All I do is disappoint her.  It’s weird.  2 day she hugged Meg like I wish she’d hug me.  She talks 2 Becca like she is so proud 2 be her mom (which she should). But me – I’m unwanted.  And I’ve always felt that way. I’m going crazy.  I keep saying over & over again I’ll make it but IDK.  Well of course I’ll make it but maybe not in the right way.  I’m begging 4 help b/c I feel like it’s me against everyone. 

What am I living?  Slashing trying 2 figure why God still has me here while I also try n figure out how I’m gonna cover the scars so I don’t have 2 answer D.A. questions.  I live 4 God, yes, but I’ve gotten to the point where I feel so completely unworthy and a waist of time that God shouldn’t have 2 listen 2 me either.  I don’t wanna look @ myself.  I want 2 run away 2 Boston … where no one knows by name.  Lol.  Haaaaha.  4ril though. 

I’m depressed.  I wanna talk to Brad but I can’t.  Even though I don’t feel like caring, I don’t wanna have 2 lie & say I didn’t call him.  But either way it puts me further behind.  But even more I wanna try 2 do the right things.  I don’t wanna feel guilty.  But it’s also feeling like I have 2 pick surviving or doing the right things.  And personally surviving sounds 100 times better. 

I’m confused 2 say the least but more disappointed I guess.  Disappointed because I let it get this far without 4seeing it.  I could cry a thousand tears but either way I feel like living shit. IDK.  I should go read my bible.  I need God so much & it’s silly 2 not go 2 Him.  But I feel like such a self-conscious little loser.  Heck, He outa all people should be able 2 help me.  Alright I’ll go but I’m depressed & that’s final. 

I will strive 2 be better (WTF)
In Christ,
Heather Lee
           
Dear Heather,

It sounds like you have a lot emotional baggage to carry here!  It’s heavy.  Too heavy for you to carry alone! 

Can I just say that you are believing lies based on how you feel?  You say that you FEEL like you are unwanted and unloved.  That I attack you.  That I’m so disappointed in you that you waste my time.  That you are so screwed up that even God shouldn’t have to waste his time on you.  And you are obviously unhappy and disappointed with yourself. 

Mike Garrigan (our pastor) always says feelings make a great servant but a terrible Master.  Feelings simply aren’t very trustworthy.  They don’t always speak truth.  They can be useful and they can’t be ignored – but you can’t let yourself be controlled by them. 

Especially when the feelings are based on lies. Of course I get mad at you.  Of course I’m disappointed when you disobey or do something asinine or dangerous or hurtful.  Of course I’m not happy that I can’t trust you.  But that does not mean that you are a waste of my time or that I don’t love you or want you. 

I’m human.  I react in anger sometimes.  I speak harshly when I need to make a point and I’m all out of patience.  But I also tell you that I love you.  That I’m committed to you.  That I don’t expect it to always be so hard.  That I see your future and it is not as bad as your past. 

What I hear you saying is that you hate yourself so much that you don’t deserve anyone, including God.  And if you hear me or anyone else say anything that might confirm that belief, you latch onto it and hold it tightly – replaying it in your head over and over again – even when it no longer applies.  On the other hand, you ignore the good things – completely - because they aren’t consistent with the lie that you believe about yourself.

Okay.  I’m going to state what is obvious to me but may sound a little weird.  Satan is real.  Not some scary looking guy with red horns and a tail carrying a pitchfork like some Halloween costume.  And he really wants you to believe these lies.  Give him a chance and he’ll make sure that you are miserable and totally absorbed in believing these lies.  Why?  Well.  First, it is his job.  Lie. Steal. Kill. Destroy.  Second.  If you believe these lies, then that separates you from God and the people that love you.  And that’s his goal.  If he can keep you from God and the people that love you he can suck you into the misery he thrives upon. 

Talking about Satan as a deceiver can sound a little strange.  Many Christians think of God as real and interacting in our daily life.  But with Satan, we don’t tend to give him equal status in our reality.  He feels more like an historical figure – not a living being that is actively trying to destroy us on a daily basis. When I was younger, I thought of Hell as just the place where Satan did his dirty work - a place I clearly didn’t want to spend eternity. But experience showed me that was a lie too!

The truth is that Satan is living and thriving in our broken world because so many people – even Christians – give him that power.  But here’s the deal.  God has already won the final battle with Satan.  Satan never had a chance.  But Satan is too darn stupid and stubborn to give in – even though he already knows the outcome. 

What does that mean? The only control Satan has over your life is what you GIVE him – either on purpose or without realizing it.  He has no power without your permission.  That’s the weird part.  As long as you have God, you have won.  Satan can try to screw with your life, but ultimately, anything he does God will turn to good – unless you side with Satan and allow him to control you. 

I know that you see Heaven as a very real place and you know that God is with you.  Do you feel the same way about Satan?  Do you view Hell as very real and Satan as actively trying to get a piece of you? 

God tells us that there is a battle in the spiritual world that is greater than any battle we face on earth.  It’s hard to wrap your brain around because we don’t physically see the spiritual battle, but it is very real.  We see the results of that battle every day and if we can recognize it, things become clearer. 

I just want you to know that Satan is your real enemy.  Sometimes, it will look like God is the enemy either because you don’t feel like He is listening or because he doesn’t give you what you ask for.  Sometimes, I may speak truth harshly and it will look like I’m the enemy.  Or maybe you think the enemy is your birth family or one of the other families that didn’t keep you.  And I know that you have already experienced the feeling of that internal battle with yourself. 

I probably need to clarify one thing.  Not every bad thing that happens is a direct attack by Satan. Sometimes, the bad things are a direct result of our own poor choices - like two teens that choose to have sex before marriage.  Or bad things happen because other people make poor choices  - like a man’s decision to rape a woman. 

Nonetheless, your only real enemy is Satan.  When you are in the midst of a battle or a struggle – even when it looks like it is with another person – keep the right perspective and the problem will be easier to solve.

I love you.
Mom

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