Saturday, November 2, 2013

Heather's Journal #97. "There's never enough hours in the day, but oh I will never miss a sunset." 8-14-08

97
“There’s never enough hours in the day but oh I will never miss a sunset.”
8-14-08

The world has not rested yet from the battle to win over my heart.  I’m constantly being consumed by something.  A growing monster I’ll become if I don’t fight back.  I ask myself for truth.  For light.  For something real.

When I can’t seem to breathe any longer & my hope fades… I find peace with God.  I smell the sweet abyss of heaven just enough to restore me and keep following what I smell. 

I cannot yet put into words how I have seen God lately.  Maybe it’s undescribable or its just still sinking in.  When he shows me a glimpse of his beauty, it’s completely out of time. I can nearly feel him stroking my hair, rising above me.  As if to remind me to no longer look down at my feet, but to look at him and there I will find love….

Blessed is not only the one who believes but follows….

i will love you.
In Christ,
Heather Lee

Dear Heather,

God never ceases to amaze me.  In my last letter I felt I had nothing more to offer you except a prayer.  As I typed the prayer of my heart, I wrote the words “softly caressing.”  Immediately, I erased the word “caressing” because it did seem right.  I pondered the right word for just a moment and then replaced it with “stroking,” which felt right.

For some reason, I noticed that my brain went through these steps and it briefly occurred to me that the right words mattered. 

It all happened in a few seconds and then I moved on to read your next letter.  And that’s when the significance of that moment hit me hard.

You had not read my prayer.  It was between me and God. 

And I had not read your next letter.

Yet, we both used the word "stroke" in a similar context. It is as if to affirm that God is overseeing every bit of what I write or think. He made sure that your words mirrored the words in my prayer so that I would know that He was there. 

My heart wants to scream, “Can’t everyone see what we see?  You are real and present God.  You speak to us everyday.  Our only job is to be open and listen.” 

I love you.
Mom

Lord,

Thank you for answering the prayers of my heart so clearly.

I love you.

Anna