Note: In what feels like a prophetic statement, Heather realizes just how time flies and how short her life on earth really is. She said she wanted every breath to count for God. I know that at her age, I had no concept of living for God. No real concept of how brief life is. No idea what it would mean to walk in faith. Knowing that her life was even shorter than any of us imagined, I am thrilled that she reached a level of Christian maturity that surpassed her age.
14
No Title
October 18, 2007
*siiiigh
* Here I am again after another looong day. It rained this morning so it got me
into a thinking mood right off. It
really seemed like 5 minutes ago I had been drinking my daddy’s coffee out of
his coffee cup… remember days like that.
Where it was just me-n-daddy… I miss him. But that’s not a surprise. I’m just looking around today and saying to myself .. omg…
where the heck has my life gone.
Lol. Its FLOWN by. I’m in 9th grade already!
AH! And before I know it… I’ll be graduating… then going to college ….staring
in to the mirror on my wedding day…having a kid…wow…it just hits me how little
time we really have here on earth… and how every single breath counts. I want every breath to count for God. Every single one. That might be a bit of a challenge but
I know it’s a good goal.
Oh
man…lately I’ve been at peace to say the least. Everything is still going by so fast but ... in a peaceful
sort of way. Lol. Last night at church God calmed my
heart and He’s cleared my mind from everything that’s been nagging at me for
the last few weeks. It was nice to
finally just focus on Him without anything else in the way.
I’ve
been doing good… I just hope that continues. I keep wondering how long its gonna take for me to get my
life back. I feel like a prisoner
right now… even though I’m not behind bars or eating yucky food like they do…
not so many tears have been shed from my eyes. ;-) Its more of just
thinking…wondering…imagining…you know all the things girls do. -
I’ve
come to remember that I have some of the best friends…and just mainly the best
people surrounding me. For so long
I had all these people right here but for some reason I still felt alone in
this world and couldn’t figure out why.
WHAT IS UP WITH THIS!!! Omg… I always said I’d never be one of those
depressing…upset, confusing teenagers.
But look at me! I’m the
worst of them all! Lol…
I guess
this is just the point in time for us to find out that our parents aren’t
perfect…and that its time for us to find out who we really are and who we want
to become. I just look at this world… and I’m so terribly sad… for everything
that they want us to be. They want
us to look like girls in magazines… and they want us to all be rich…they want,
they want, they want…I’m sick of listening to the world and their hopeless
obsessions and the need to be something you’ll never be. I guess I’m on the right track of
finding myself.
Geez. Now it all makes sense… I have trouble
finding a pencil I just had in my hand… no wonder it takes years for me to find
myself. Lol. Funny. Funny. Well anyways I’ve got soccer here in a
in a lil bit but I’m just checking in saying I’m alive, not pregnant. Lol…ya right…and I’m okay. ;)
I will strive 2 be better
In
Christ
Heather
Lee
Dear Heather,
This time of your
life is so full of change. You
really are in search of yourself.
Learning. Growing. Making
independent decisions – sometimes with guidance – and sometimes alone. You are deciding what you believe. What
you value. Who you value.
And it’s time for
all that to happen. You still have
us to love you and protect you and guide you, but you aren’t young
anymore. You have to own what you
believe and what you value. You
have to know what’s important to you and why. We can’t just tell you what to believe and expect you to
agree. (Warning: Don’t confuse your need to learn to
think for yourself with our authority to tell you what to do. We still get to make the primary
decisions while you are in training. We still have that responsibility and
authority for as long as you are under our roof – in part because it is our
roof! That’s the honor your mother
and father part, too!)
I’m so glad that
you recognize that what the world wants isn’t what you want. You have felt the
emptiness of living life only for yourself – on your own terms. You have
embraced all the world has to offer and been completely disappointed. You have
felt lost and lonely and unhappy.
But it’s easy to
fall back into your old beliefs.
Remember, the
world doesn’t hold your values.
The world doesn’t believe in God.
The world doesn’t recognize a Savior – unless it’s in the form of some
celebrity or famous person or someone with money. You know that the world offers you lots of lies – but they
all look so dang appealing. The world can make the ugliest, dirtiest, most
disgusting things seem beautiful and interesting and fun.
That’s why you
have to surround yourself with others who understand Truth so you can hold each
other accountable when you are tempted to fall into the trap of believing the
world’s view without realizing it.
Knowing that you won’t be satisfied isn’t enough to stop you. That’s part of the lie we believe. We are so desperate for something that
makes us feel good – we’re willing to try anything – even what we already know
is bad for us.
Some days it
rains and it seems like the world is insane and you can’t figure out what to
do. Other days, the sun is
shining. Life feels good. And everything is clear and easy and
happy. God likes balance and
diversity. It keeps us on our toes
and thinking. Maybe that’s why God
made the sun and the rain.
Truthfully, that
never really changes as you get older.
At least if you are constantly growing and learning more about your
purpose in life. What does get
better is our ability to recognize that different days bring different lessons
– some easier than others – and that all days lived for God are worth it.
I love You.
Mom
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