NOTE: As I sit in the orthodontist office waiting on my 9th child to have her braces removed (with 6 others in the waiting room), I finally have 10 minutes to try to try to post. As soon as I read the title of Heather's entry, I had to laugh. God has such unique timing.
About 1:30 a.m. this morning, Heather's sister and best friend Kat flew home from Spokane, Washington, after attending the wedding of another of Heather's closest childhood friends. Heather's best friend Bec was there too. If Heather were here, she would have been on that plane with her best friends laughing and enjoying the first of their group to marry. And here's the ironic part. This morning while getting ready for work, Kat was excitedly showing me a joke trinket she and Bec bought in the Las Vegas Airport. It was a "Key to the Sin City." She and Bec bought matching keys to put on their key chains! Who knew that today's post would be about Vegas. Weird how little things like that make me feel connected to my child in heaven.
2008
38
“Vegas is where my dreams are”
January 3, 2008
It’s a
new year and so far – it’s crazier than ever at the moment. I just wanna move 2
Vegas w/ my best friends & never look back. I guess all girls have some fantasy like that. :sigh: I’ve been in a horrible mood
lately. Boy problems,
frusteration, sadness – it’s all building up. I’m so sick of living 4 my past mistakes. When will they no longer haunt me?
Never I guess. I wanna 4get it all
but so far I’ve managed 2 stick it out.
I keep praying God will take away my need/want 4 a guy. He does but only for a few hours ‘til I
have 2 pray again 2 regain strength. I don’t wanna feel desperate b/c I’m so
far beyond that. I just don’t know.
And when do I ever? I know
nothing can truly happen w/ a guy right now & it will eventually end but
it’s just the thought that’s just enough to drive me crazy. I’ve got so much on my mind w/ so
little time – I guess I better get 2 it.
*I will
strive 2 be better
In
Christ
Heather
Marie Lee
Dear Heather,
I’m not sure what
to say that you don’t already know.
You are longing for something – a guy – that you have said repeatedly
leaves you feeling awful. I guess
it is kind of how an addict feels.
Knowing that the drugs or alcohol or food will bring short term relief
but long-term pain.
I see the
struggle you are facing. And you
are not alone in your struggle.
Many many many people feel the way that you do.
And I still think
it all goes back to our basic need as human to feel important and valuable and
loved. You are right to keep
praying and seeking answers and help from God. Ask him to expose your needs and then to fulfill them.
I don’t have any
simple answers. I wish I did. I would gladly give them to you.
I love you.
Mom
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