Guest Post: "To An Angel"

NOTE:  Today is our first Guest Post from a young woman who wrote to tell Heather what she has learned about herself from reading Heather's letters. Heather would be thrilled to have read this.

To An Angel

By: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Clarity
Familiadeuno.wordpress.com

If I knew then, what I know now, this is what I would have written.

Heather,

I know we aren’t close. I think we only talked a few times over the course of your life here. But I always liked you. I always thought you were sweet, kind, and innocent: everything I expected a young girl of 15-18 to be.

I know now that you were just the opposite.

You know, part of me wishes that I had gotten to know you better when I had the chance, but I know for a fact that it wouldn’t have helped at all. Because I’ve read your letters, and even at 14, you were in a healthier place than I am now. Or have ever been, for that matter. You knew where to turn. I didn’t. 

You and me, we’ve experienced very similar things. I read your letters religiously, because they seem to be a lifeline: a look back at what has gone before. I remember being 14, and being free. My descent came later, but it still came. I wanted you to know that I understand: all of it. The wanting to feel something, the turning to guys to make you feel wanted in some way-I get it. I don’t know how many people have told you that, but I have wanted you to know that ever since I started reading your story. Because it always helps me to know someone understands.

We aren’t completely alike, though. I read your story because, unlike me, you knew who to look to for help. I started reading your story thinking that I could figure out what I would have said to you then, had I had the chance. That maybe next time a girl like you comes across my path, I’ll know what to say.



But I realize now that isn’t the case. That I should be learning from you. Because I would have led you wrong. I would have steered you to some inner power inside yourself, and not towards the God you knew was your only salvation. Because that’s how I did it. I drew from my own power, and didn’t turn to anybody. 


So, I realize now that I couldn’t have helped you. Not anymore than you were already being helped by the God of the universe. Anything I would have said to you would not have helped, but steered you away from what you knew to be true.

I then realized, I still should have talked to you. Not because I could have helped you, but because you would have helped me. You would have pointed me in the direction you were already traveling, and invited me to travel alongside you. Because that’s who you were, Heather: you were a helper, a guide. You showed people the love God had already shown you.

I just want you to know that, even though we never did really talk, that you’re still teaching me. That you’re still helping at least one person.

I just wish we could have done this sooner.

Happy Birthday Heather. And thank you.

familiadeuno.wordpress.com