Thursday, September 20, 2012

Heather's Journal #46 - "I'm Alive!" 2-10-08


46
“I’m Alive!”
2-10-08

Ah! (2 days after the car incident).  Me n Binky just got our punishment & I’m happy2 say we’re both still alive.  My mind feels @ peace.  Today, I called Mac’s dad & told him the situation and it turned out2 be exactly what I needed to do!

I prayed about it and everything led me2 tell him.  His dad wasn’t even that surprised because he already suspected something, he just didn’t have any real proof. 

But yea,   I think my weekend has been a lil’ more than just wild but I find it kind of funny – how much of the brains that I have that I never really use.  
I just thank God that He protected me & Binky.  The police car.  The railroad tracks.  The ditch.  Everything was enough2 scare us2 death.  But it was most definitely a learning experience and I’m gonna actually start talking to my parents before I go an do something like this again.  Wow.  I’m gonna go rest since this is all over4 the main part.  

I will strive to be better – even though I’m a d.a.
In Christ,
Heather Marie Lee


Dear Heather,

I don’t remember the exact date, but sometime around October 1, 2007 – right about the time you started keeping this journal – you thought process was pretty much the same as it has been lately.  Act without thinking and hope for the best. 

In 2007, your actions got you stripped of all the stuff that was cluttering your life and helping you make bad decisions. (Remember the Bed, Bible, Blanket Drill?)  I didn’t know it at the time, but that consequence got you on a track where you started thinking about things at a much deeper level.  It brought you closer to God.  It made you aware of what mattered in your life.  It’s when you started writing.

Believe it or not, we weren’t trying to punish you – although I’m sure it felt like we were.  It was a consequence designed to help you find the right path for yourself. Taking away your phone and your computer removed some of your opportunities to make middle of the night decisions that didn’t make sense.  Removing all the physical stuff forced you to focus on yourself.  Keeping you from going places forced you to spend more time with the family – at least if you wanted to come out of your room.

Basically, it worked.  But it wasn’t a miracle cure.  You still need lots of guidance.  You are still only 15-years-old.

In thinking about your consequences and your safety for your latest antics, it seems logical that we destroy your permit and stop teaching you to drive until you are mature enough to make good decisions that don’t endanger your life and the life of others who are unlucky enough to be on the road when you make really bad decisions. 

If the policeman who was following you had figured out that you didn’t have a license and that you had stolen the car, you would have gone to juvenile detention and the state would not allowed you to apply for a driver’s license for 2 years. 

You escaped the civil penalty – but not the parental penalty.  I’m grateful, but not because you were spared that punishment and/or consequence –  but because you know I believe that it is our responsibility as parents to help you learn from this mistake - not the government.

As such, your driving privileges are completely removed for at least 6 months.  At that point we will re-evaluate your decision making skills and assess whether you should continue learning to drive.  You will not be allowed to sit for the driver’s test for at least another 6 months after we allow you to have your permit. 

Moreover, as has always been our rule - you are not allowed to drive with any other teenager until they have had their license for at least 6 months.  

This does limit your options.  It means your younger sister will get her license before you.  You will need HER help to get places.  You might want to reconsider the way you treat her. 

Likewise, you are going to need your older siblings’ help.

And my time is limited.  Don’t expect me to go out of my way to take you where you want to go simply because you aren’t able to get your license.  I will handle all the places you NEED to go, but I may not be inclined to break my neck for things that you want, but don’t need.  That’s not a punishment either.  Just a reality.

I know that you were honestly terrified.  You knew the danger of those railroad tracks.  You were deeply impacted by Hannah’s death on those very same tracks.  You write about her – even though you didn’t even know her.  But even that fear will fade and you are likely to forget the risks and act without thinking. 

Nonetheless, I pray that you will grow and mature and learn to make wise decisions.  I admire your desire to help others.  But you can’t help them if you are dead. 

I love you anyway.
Mom 

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