Heather's Journal #64. "There's always 5 min left...." 4/15/08

PLEASE NOTE:  Entries 58-64 are in reverse chronological order on the December 31, 2012 blog entry date.  This makes it difficult to read these chronologically.  I don't know how to fix the problem, so if you like to read the entries in order just know that all of these entries can be found on this date.


64

There’s always 5 min left…

4/15/08

Here I am in Biology Class at co-op during the last 5 weeks of school.  As much as I hate it here, I think I’m gonna miss it.  I came here my 6^th grade year  (I think) and I’ll be a sophomore next year.  So that means I came here before I ever had a boyfriend, before my 1^st kiss, b4 I met Binky, b4 I got my door takin’ away, b4 I knew David, Emma, Missy, b4 I ran away, b4 I snuck out & b4 I took the car.  Wooow!  I’ve changed sooo much & this place is the building I’ve come to 2 days a week through everything. 

This isn’t the most exciting school… it’s just the place where all of my best memories are… it’s just the place that’s helped make me who I am.  I’ve never been ready to go to public school until recently.  

All this time it’s been a dream just far away enough to be at the tip of my fingertips but still out of reach.  I would have probably been a completely different person if Mom & Dad let me go to school.  I convinced my flesh for so long that I wouldn’t change.  That I would be just the same if I could go2 school.  Now I look back & ask who the heck was I kidding?  I’m glad my parents knew better. 

I still wanna go but I want to go being the person that I am. 

This co-op has been everything I need through these past few years though.  All the way from the stupid dress code to the guys having to stand up every time Mrs. M walks into the room.  I know looking back at this co-op is a heck of a lot better than when I actually lived through it because I know how much I dread it.  But I’m just sayin… overall… it’s been ok.  I’m still alive which means I’m a survivor. Lol. 

I don’t wanna 4get this co-op… weather I go 2 public school or still home school next year.  Wherever it is that I end up… I think I’ll be just fine. :-) I guess this chamber they call a school hasn’t been so bad afterall.

I will strive to be better.

In Christ,

Heather Lee

Dear Heather,

How many times have you both loved and hated this school?  Sometimes, we get ready to leave a place and suddenly, we see its value.  They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  I don’t really know who “they” is, but they are right.  When the irritation disappears, all that is left is what is real.  And more times than not, we find out what is real wasn’t so bad afterall.

I wish I knew how to skip right to the end feeling.  Life would be so much better if we could appreciate everything while we are in the midst of it instead of when we are leaving. 

I Love you.

Mom