62
“Just Smiling"
4-9-08
The
days just keep rollin’ on by and I can’t help but to thank God for every bit of
it. I keep seeing my past through
my everyday life I can see my old
school, my favorite old shirt, my friend’s old sand-box… I still see it
all. Sometimes I can even smell my
past. It’s like an entire film
constantly playing in my head only pausing when I blink entering reality again. I never knew growing up was gonna be
like this.
During
the day I try & go back remembering every moment I’ve ever lived because I
never wanna forget it. As my days
increase…. I can only hope my memory
can hold it all.
I want
to keep every moment right w/me.
Every laugh. Every
tear. Every hug. I want it all. I just don’t wanna forget where I came
from and everything that made me who I am.
Things
at home are still crazy… but I love it because that’s what makes me feel like
home. Mom trying to manage
everyone. Correcting their every
mistake and trying not to go insane herself. Dad trying to stay sane through tax season… occasionally
coming upstairs to wander… asking obvious questions then repeating it all back
3 times… lol. Every baby in the
house screaming (currently Taquito, Sam and NuNu.) And everyone else off doing their own thing.
But I
still make time just to sit and watch it all. Because it makes me laugh.
Home…
as much as I hate this place, I’ll always love it more. It would not be home without all the
constant noise, yelling, fighting, & 12 a.m. snacks with half the house
that gets up to do the same… man… it’s just where I belong.
Lately,
I’ve heard constant banging in the house, like someone is trying desperately to
hammer on a door we’ve knocked off or something. But that’s not what it is at all. Come to find Torito, KK and Tq have mastered the idea of
“dress-up.” Lol. I keep forgetting I’m not the little
girl playing that game anymore. …
They go around the house all day everyday with the loudest clunking high heels
on. Lol. So, since it’s them making all the noise… I found it to be a
little more tolerable.
Well, I
think that is all for now….
I will
strive to be better.
In
Christ,
Heather
Marie Lee
P.S. I just found out, my mom, bec, kat,
rubz, tabz & me are all on… no wonder this is emotion central. Lol.
Dear Heather,
Our house isn’t
for everybody. But I think God put
us all together on purpose. He
knew that we need to live in community.
He knew that we needed each other.
That somehow, as a group – we are better than we are alone. And different than we would have been
growing up in our original families.
I love to sit
back, when I’m not crazy at the moment, and just watch us. So many sweet things happen
everyday. I think I overlook many
of them – or at least don’t tell ya’ll I notice – because I’m so busy managing
this large crew that I get caught up in who needs to do what and when.
Some people
criticize large families. And that includes us. They can’t imagine why anyone would have a family our
size. Although people seem to be
more tolerant of our family once they learn that most of you are adopted. Suddenly, we turn from crazy people for
having so many children, to blessed people for taking on so many children. People who have large families by birth tend to be the
ones that get the most criticism.
Anyway, watching
the relationships develop. Watching Bec, Kat, & Amy grow up never knowing
what it would have been like to live in a family without the rest of ya’ll. Watching people heal. And mature. And learn to trust again. I don’t get to see it nearly as much as I would like – but
when I take the time to stop and breathe and listen and watch, I love our
family and I’m so grateful God trusted me with the job as your mom.
I love you very
much.
Mom
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