Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Heather's Journal #49. "11:11p.m. I Wished My Best Friend Would Come Back2 Me One Day." 2-20-08



49
“11:11 p.m.  I wished my best friend would
 come back2 me one day.”
2-20-08

Okay.  So I’ve been struggling with not talking2 Mac a lot this week & it’s been eating me alive.  Tonight I layed it all down2 Christ and I prayed He’d take it away from me.  I screwed up with Mac & I regret it.  But I know God is faithful & loving so I trust He’ll make the best of things.

I wrote on about 20 individual flash cards all my mistakes.  I wrote things like – 4 every hug, 4 every phone call, 4 every moment of silence, 4 every laugh, 4 every stare, every stupid joke, every kiss, every I love you & every moment I didn’t put my Lord God 1st

Then I prayed that God would release me from what I was hangin’ on to and that He would strengthen me.  That He wouldn’t necessarily make me 4get about Mac, but that He would help me let go of him.  It’s all I can do. 

Mac will never realize how much he meant to me & how amazing I thought he was.  Maybe he’ll talk2 me one day, but 4 now it’s goodbye. 

I’m so sick of these stupid relationships – I want a guy who’s gonna be my leader.  A guy who is love with God.  A guy who’s perfect for me.   

All I want is 2 go through with this whole love thing the right way.  And right now it’s not happening.  But of course,  I’m only 15!  But I promise I’ll know when the right guy comes along.  (At least I hope.) 

So babe – when you read this, know I’m thinkin’ of you & I’m tryin my best 2 be pure & put God 1st.  I’m savin’ myself4 only you because I know that you’ll be just that worth it. :-)

It’s hard2 set yourself apart from this world & follow who you’re called2 be.  But I will always get back up when I fail.  I’ll never stop running back2 Christ.  I’m gonna like more guys & fall short in weakness, but I pray I’ll put God 1st.  That I’ll stay pure.  That’s I’ll wear this purity ring til I get married.  I want2 live a Christian life.  I wanna chase God with everything I have.  Even if that means letting go of someone you loved.  Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.  You gotta let’em go2 c if they’ll come back2 you.

I will strive2 be better.
In Christ
Heather Lee

Dear Heather,

You sound so mature and you nailed it.  It is so hard to set yourself apart from what the rest of the world is doing.  At times it all looks like so much fun.  And the truth is sometimes it really is more fun than doing what you know is right – at least at the moment.  But you have an advantage over most people because you already know how unhappy you are when you choose the world’s way over God’s way. 

And the funny thing is that you probably don’t feel guilty because you think God will be mad at you. He won’t be mad.  He might be disappointed, but He has already made the ultimate sacrifice to save us from our sins.  That’s why his Son – Jesus - died on the cross. I guess it’s kind of a waste of God’s time to get angry after he already took care of the problem once and for all. 

So, living the world’s way makes us unhappy -- but not because we are afraid.  It makes us unhappy because we love someone very much and when we do something to disappoint them -  most of us eventually become angry with ourselves for hurting and disrespecting someone we love.

As for all the things we do wrong – I wish I could fit my mistakes on 20 note cards.  It would probably take about 200 per day and that’s only if I count the bigger stuff!  But once again, you show that you really understand your problem. 

I noticed that you apologized for hugging and kissing and laughing and other things that really aren’t wrong – in the right situation.  But that’s the important part – some things that seem wrong are only wrong in the wrong situation.  Like sex.  Before marriage it is wrong.  After marriage you can do it as often as you want. 

The most important thing you said was that you were sorry for not putting God first.  That’s all that it really amounts to.  You knew that you were going after what you wanted with this guy– not what was right for you.  That’s very wise.

What’s so funny is that you seem to be attracted to boys that are exactly the opposite of the kind of person you say you want.  Starting with a guy that loves God.  Isn’t this the same guy you have been praying will accept Christ for the last year?  Did something change? 

And wasn’t it just a few months ago (December 15 to be exact) that you listed all the qualities you want in a permanent mate?  Does Mac meet your own standards?

I don’t know who God has in mind for you, but I can be absolutely sure that God will not match you up for life with a non-Christian permanently.  The bible tells us that we should not be “unequally yoked.”  This is kind of a core issue for marriage.    

All that means is that Christian’s should not marry non-Christians because it will cause a lot of misery. It’s not that non-Christians aren’t “good enough.”  And it also doesn’t mean you can’t associate with or be friends with non-Christians – which some people might try to tell you.  Non-Christians are made in the image of God just like you.  And if you don’t associate with non-Christians – how can you ever share Christ with them? 

The only limit is marriage. 

Think about it.  If you are committed to following Christ and understand that you must follow Him to be happy, but you also commit your married life to someone who does not share your beliefs – can you imagine how stressful that would be for you? 

Think about how much you worried about Mac because he was a non-believer.  Think about how responsible you felt for leading him to Christ.  Think about how long this has been going on.  Imagine living that way for the rest of your life.  It is not a good recipe for marriage.  (Of course, he could change.  But you don’t know that.)

I know that you know at least one married person in that situation right now and you have watched her struggle.  And divorce isn’t an option either.   Sometimes, the story ends well.  But sometimes it doesn’t. 

And it is really really hard if a woman believes that her husband should be the leader of the family.  Can you imagine putting yourself under the authority of a husband who does not believe in God and someone who may not even be aware that he needs a Savior? How hard would it be to follow a husband who is not at all worried about leading you away from God.

That’s why it is not wise to be unequal partners when it comes to faith.

That’s enough of the hard stuff for now.  We have much more to discuss but not now.

I love You.
Mom 

P.S.  Is the “babe” you address in letter referring to your future husband?  If so, that is really a sweet thought.  I’m sure he’d appreciate it.


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