Heather's Journal #34. "And She Lives Happily Every After." Dec. 15, 2007

34

                        “And She Lives Happily Ever After”

Dec. 15, 2007

10 days til Christmas… wow… time is so priceless.  I can’t even remember where I left off so I’ll have to fill you in. ;-)

I seem to have it all figured out lately…okay I won’t say that because I know how dreadfully fast that can change.  Lol.  So I seem to be doing okay lately. 


Mac called me…he said he wanted to change and hang out w/the right crowd cuz he seems to be doing things he doesn’t really approve of.  I know he wants more… I can see it and I want to inspire him to do better … and I think it‘s working.  All my prayers have been faithfully answered.  I’m thanking God every single day because I’ve waited so long to hear Mac say those words.  


I don’t know why I’ve been praying for him for about a year now but God has really put him on my heart.  We hung out the other night and he says I’ve changed in a good way… which makes me so happy bc I wanted him to be able to recognize that. 

Again, I’m not forcing any kind of crazy Christian thing on him, I’m just influencing him in a better way.  I want what’s best for him.  So ya… I just hope I don’t fall for him in the process.  There’s more here to say but I’m choosing not to write.  Lets’ just say… Mac’s a sweet<3.

Now about the other him… at the moment he’s out.  And I don’t even care.  I’ve finally figured it all out.  The idea of him seems far more exciting than it really is.  Ultimately I know I would be left unhappy and incomplete.  I’m finally accepting that.  I’ve had to do a lot of that in this process lately but as long as it gets me a step ahead to forget him…I’m willing to take it.  I hate it… I’ll hear certain songs… that make me think of him and I’ll remember certain memories that still give me butterflies just by the idea… and it seems to start all over again. 

I just have to snap into reality b4 that happens next time.  He’s not what I want and I don’t know how to fully convince myself of that. I finally made a list of what I want in a guy… so here it is.

What do I want in a guy?

A guy who will provide enough respect for me AND MY PARENTS.

A guy who has fallen hopelessly in love with not only me, but for Christ Himself too.

A guy who’s not a slacker.

A guy who will wait for me.

A guy who is strong for us in certain situations if I am weak (ya know like sticking 2 our beliefs).

A guy who does not hold too much dignity.

A guy who is strong in every way but forever gentle w/me physically and emotionally.

A guy who loves me for me.

There we go.  That’s all I have for now.  I guess I’ve always kind of known this is what I truly want but seeing it on paper seems clearer.  I won’t accept anything less this time.

Buy anyways… Mom says I’ve been doing better…which is a miracle.  She also said that some parents have been wondering if I’ve been depressed bc I’m more quiet now.  It is strange bc… normally I’m never quiet.  I don’t know… I’m still outgoing of course… but I think a lot more.  


But for real… I’m finally happy with myself…can you believe it?  I never would have thought I would say that… but I am. And I give it all to God.  I could never have made it this far…without His help up above.  I don’t wanna grow up tho … to be a boring adult that goes 2 church every Sunday and just …lives their life as some kind of boring routine.  Nooo…lemme tell u it ain’t like dat.  Lol. I’m still fly.. no worries. 

Alrighty, I think that does it…cuz that’s about it.

*I will strive 2 be better.

In Christ

Heather Lee

Dear Heather,

That’s a pretty great list of mandatory requirements for your guy.  I agree with each and every one.  If you evaluate each guy you meet based on these criteria – I’m pretty sure you’ll know when the right guy comes along. 

And for the record, I would hate it you grew up and went to church every Sunday just to say you fulfilled your “obligation” and then you lived life as a boring routine.  You have far too much adventure and excitement inside you to do that.  And because you do, God isn’t going to imprison you.  He made you adventurous and daring and he will use that in a positive, meaningful way.  Just stick to His plan.  Not yours.

Also,  don’t make the mistake of assuming that everyone who lives a routine life is bored or unhappy.   God made some people who like structure and routine. Not everyone has your need for a high level of excitement and adventure. 

I encourage you to pursue your passions.  Fly.  Have fun.  Enjoy yourself. If you are following God’s lead, doing what you love and you have purpose and meaning – life is good.

I love you.

Mom

P.S.  Glad to hear about Mac and your current commitment to continue to stay away from the other guy.