87
“Dance with Me”
7-9-08
Another
early morning… I’m halfway satisfied & half-way disappointed. Why am I seeking out guys2 fix this
lonely heart of mine? When I
already know so well that they always let me down. I wanna be beautiful to someone so bad but it’s never long
before I push even them away.
No
explanation. But I continue to sit
here broken… why can’t I just be emotionless?
Where
is my Lord? He’s all I need, so why
am I left wanting more? Am I not
seeking him fully?
Why do
I have such strong cravings for something else? I beg God to take my heart and wrap it in the biggest vine
of thorns and keep it locked up until He says otherwise. Take my desires out of sight, out of
power. Please.
I will
strive to be better.
In
Christ,
Heather
Lee
Dear Heather,
You are seeking
out guys because you can see them and feel them and touch them and talk to
them. They can say the words “You
are beautiful” even if they do not mean them. You are longing for so much. Yet you know that you are running in the wrong direction and
it doesn’t feel like you can stop yourself. It must feel like an addicition to alcohol or drugs or even
food. You know it is bad for you
but you want it anyway with the hopes that it will give just a moment of
pleasure to ease the pain that you feel.
I don’t have all
the answers. I wish I could say
more. All I can say is that you
are not alone. Other people feel
the way you do. And God is waiting
beside you for permission to rescue you.
I love you.
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment